Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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