You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
