You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
