piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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