That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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