You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
