ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
