I'm gonna have a badass scar
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
where does the pee come out of this thing
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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