I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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