Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
