you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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