I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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