It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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