My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
