thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
