Im at strip club and am horny
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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