No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
