Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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