Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
only you would photoshop your dick
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize