I look better un-naked...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
