I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
