Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
