he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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