he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
