I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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