normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We are all done wearing pants today
I need a beard to bite.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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