I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
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an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
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We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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