I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
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Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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