hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
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