I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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