this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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