I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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