i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
