please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it was like eating out sand paper
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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