At least make sure they are 18
Why
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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