in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You're a waste of cheezeits
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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