Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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