dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize