Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
