his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
