Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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