This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
