hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
