How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
