I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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