i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Bring me that man meat
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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