I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
