So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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