Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
