So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
