it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
how drunk are you?
Several
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
