Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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