Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
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I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The air was thick with penises
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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