Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
