At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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