Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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